June 19, 2002 - 11:26 p.m. I just caught up with everyone’s lives tonight, or those that posted something online. I feel so drifted apart from everyone, and it is my fault in ways, and it is not. I’m sitting here emotional [yes I am capable of those] because I am losing a great friend. Andrew: you may not read this, but thank you man. You were there for me when I needed you, and vice versa. I know if given more time we could have hung out more, but it was as though time was not on our side. How does the saying go, “time is what you make of it?” Yeah that one is my fault. Maybe if I had spent more time with my friends I wouldn’t feel guilty for not spending time with them. If I had ventured out of my “summer bubble” I would not have this feeling of guilt and sadness. But for the times that we spent hanging out, I will never forget, nor trade them in for anything. Memories last a lifetime. I know I will be able to come visit you soon, I will make sure I can. You take care of yourself my friend up there in North Carolina, you can make a new life for yourself and start over with a new drawing board called life. Make the best of it, and I know you will succeed. In other news, drivers ed is a pain in the ass. Yesterday I almost got killed in that damn rain storm that came down; I couldn’t see two feet in front of me. I feel more comfortable driving now, but I’m sure no one trusts me with any car. Probably the best thing though. I’m sure I will get a few smart remarks when I do finally get my license because I am the last one to do so. School is taking over my life again. So I probably won’t be back online for a long time. Also, I ate dinner with my mom’s friend’s husband last night. He is in the Army and is a Lieutenant Colonel in the MP’s. He gave me great advice on if I wanted to join the service. It is still an option for me, but no life to live, if I ever wanted to develop one. They say you kinda marry into the military and not to someone else. That is no life for anyone. I might have to do it alone. Oh well….I’ll keep you all posted. Peace and God Bless -Vash
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