July 25, 2002 - 12:32 a.m. I believe in a code where i follow my beliefs and do not question them. Like a soldier on the field that does not question his orders, no matter how insane they seem, no matter how bad the odds are against them. Some times we have to walk in our own shoes to understand our lives. We dont really notice what goes on in them really, we just float on down the goddamn river with the damn current hoping that somehow it will lead you to shore. Hell I never made it to shore I was taken with the current to another place. I learned something tonight. That things set in stone only lead to trouble. Don't try to grow up too fast. Don't try to be something you are not and elude the cold hard truth that you cannot be someone you are not. That you cannot live the lives of other people. Don't thrive off the happiness of others, because you owe them. It's not worth it. Is it worth it to leave the most precious gift of love just because of some stupid shit? I ruined something tonight for the wrong reasons, and I cannot reclaim that. They say that things happen for a reason. Hell if I know that reason... I hope this brings joy to others...my pain always seems to have that affect on people. Enjoy this year, it's the last year I'm gonna stand for this shit anymore. It's the last year I give up something good for some reason other than my own happiness. ======================================== The fighter enters back into the ring, faced with the peril of the next challanger. Battered, bruised and in a world of pain the fighter continues, not for some random Hollywood girl in the crowd, but for his honor and self pride and confidence. For himself. With the obstacle standing six foot two and three hundred pounds the fighter maintains his composure and gets ready- despite the comments about his death and something about the challanger and his mother [another mistake]. Danger looms, death and yet the fighter goes on...for himself.... ======================================== This keeps me holding on. I screwed up and cannot reclaim what is lost, so I continue and fight back. The battle is now mine. Watch the fuck out...
|
|