August 17, 2002 - 1:53 a.m. What to say, what to say? I mean come on, I am a man that bitches all the time and finally I have nothing to say. Why is that? Is it because I act only when I see people as a supposed “convenience”? No, I believe the true reason is because I am shocked and appalled that my so-called friends would make accusations towards me, contesting my truthfulness and my word against me. Why would I lie? Why should I have to explain myself? Hell I shouldn’t! So I am a bubble boy in a bubble world, without my bubble girl. So I have lived a life FOR ME, the only time in seventeen years I have lived a life in selfishness, and what do I have?? Nothing now. Erica and I are breaking up as we speak, why??? Because of you fucks that have made so many dashing comments on our “bubble world.” Well to be honest folks, I hate you all. I finally found the one thing I have been searching for, someone who appreciates me for ME and I lose it because my “friends” think we spend too much time together. So there it is folks. I have nothing now because, well, you stripped it all away. I did nothing, she did nothing. We only loved each other and we don’t even fucking have that anymore. I can’t let her get hurt anymore by the accusations, the comments of us. No more. It’s ridiculous that in seven months of a relationship, that Erica and I never fought about us like we did when it came to the situation with you all. Nothing like that at all. We fought about breaking up, to please you all because no matter what we did, we “spent too much time together”. I’m sorry I cared about her that much that I wanted to spend time with her. If you were in the same situation, you would understand. To be honest she was the light of my world. Now that light is gone, the flame burned out. I’m hurt more than I ever have been before. I have lost my friends, my girlfriend and my family. Why? Why all at once, why now, why at all??? My best friend doesn’t like my actions; Tara doesn’t, Jeremy, Nicole. Everyone I thought mattered to me, gone. Why? Hell it’s my fault. So believe what you want guys. I’m just here from now on. No one talks to me anyways. I lost everything my last year, which is supposed to be my best year. Kinda ironic, isn’t it? No one is to blame but myself for my problems, I just walked into this one. It’s my fault. I’m sorry guys, I’m sorry Erica. I have no reason to live anymore. Nothing left to stay for. Good luck all. God bless. -Donald
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